Potionate
by RockSunner
Summary: What if things had not gone according to plan at the diner? Spoilers for "The Love God."
1. Fry Kids

What if things had not gone according to plan at the diner? Spoilers for "The Love God." All characters belong to Alex Hirsch, not me.

**Chapter 1 - Fry Kids  
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Robbie took a closer look at the portion of chili fries in front of him. "Pink stuff? It must be some sort of mold. This is a new low for Greasy's Diner. I'm out of here."

"Me too," said Tambry, getting up from her seat and continuing her status update on her phone.

"Wait!" Mabel yelled, running out from behind the counter. "Please try them, just a nibble. I promise they will make you feel a lot better."

"So it was you who dumped the pink junk on my food!" said Robbie. "Trying to make it all cute for the blind date you set up, I guess. I should have known not to trust a Pine."

"Sorry Mabel, it's just not going to work," said Tambry. "Robbie and I are so not happening."

Mabel looked down at the floor, discouraged by the failure of her matchmaking attempt. Even with the help of a potion from a Love God...

"I will partake of your fry concoction, Mabel," said a familiar voice.

"Me too," said another, deeper voice.

Mabel looked up and saw that Candy and Grenda had entered the diner while she was preoccupied.

Candy speared a fry on a fork-finger and took a big bite. Grenda glommed a handful and stuffed them into her mouth.

"Wait!" cried Mabel, but was too late. Both of her friends looked at each other with new eyes.

"Grenda, do you wish to spend some time with me?" asked Candy.

"Yeah, Candy. I do," said Grenda.

"A sleepover at my home, perhaps?" asked Candy.

"Hey friends, I'd like a sleepover, too," said Mabel. "M-may I join you?"

"Sorry, Mabel," said Grenda. "Candy and I need private time, just the two of us."

They left the diner hand in hand. Mabel watched them go in dismay.

"Now what will I do?" she thought. "The Love God has some kind of Anti-Love potion too. Maybe I can get that. But first, I have to dispose of the rest of the fries before they do any more damage."

She picked up the paper container of chili fries to take it to the trash can , but on the way there she noticed some of the pink potion had gotten on her hand.

"Oh-oh," she thought. "This stuff doesn't have to be eaten; it works on contact. If I got it just on a fingertip I would be safe, but... I'd better try to get home with my eyes shut or the next person I see..."

Still carrying the potion-laden fries, she slipped out of the door of the diner and tried to blindly make her way back to the Mystery Shack.

She bumped into someone on the street.

"Hey you, you got your messy commoner food on me," said a familiar voice. "Just because I tried shar-ing with you after our golf game doesn't mean I... Actually, I think I really would like to shar with you again after all. May I?"

With a heart suddenly full of hope and joy, Mabel opened her eyes and wordlessly offered the fries to Pacifica Northwest.


	2. Rocky Relationship

**Rocky Relationship**

Pacifica looked deep into Mabel's eyes and said, "Mabel, I used to hate you. I warmed up to you a little after our golf game. But now... all of a sudden I really like you."

"I like you, too," said Mabel, looking back into Pacifica's blue eyes.

"I mean, like like," said Pacifica. "You're cute and funny. You're so sweet. I've never felt this way about anyone before."

"That's how I feel too," said Mabel. "You're beautiful, talented, and a great golfer. I know you have a tender heart in there somewhere, too."

"If I do, it's because you've melted it," said Pacifica.

"Would you like to go out with me to the Woodstick rock concert tonight?" asked Mabel.

"I normally stay away from low-life events like that," said Pacifica. "But I'll go anywhere if it's with you."

"Woop woop! It's a date," said Mabel.

"May I have some of your chile fries now?" Pacifica asked, reaching for one.

Mabel held up a hand. "I've got to come clean about something."

"What?" asked Pacifica.

"You're not going to like this," said Mabel. "I'm afraid of driving you away."

"Go ahead. The way I'm feeling right now, I don't think anything you say could make me angry," said Pacifica.

"There's love potion on those fries."

Pacifica jerked back her hand. "There's what?"

"Love potion. I put it on the fries to help a guy I know to find a new girlfriend, but instead I got some on me, and then on you."

"So you're saying the way I'm feeling is because of some crazy drug that's going to wear off after a while?"

"I don't think it will wear off. It's magic, not some chemical. I got it from a real Love God, a Cupid."

"I can't believe this. I opened my heart to you and now it turns out you were just manipulating me with a date-rape drug."

"I'm not. I didn't mean to, I just blindly bumped into you. But I was starting to like you on my own, too. I wanted us to be friends. And it's not a date-rape drug."

"If you take away someone's choice of consent, it's rape. I should knock you down and stomp all over you. But... I can't do that. I'm still in love with you, dammit."

"Really? I'm glad," said Mabel.

"At least you told me... I don't know whether to slap you or kiss you," said Pacifica.

"You could spank me," said Mabel.

"That's incredibly tempting," said Pacifica. "I may take you up on that later, in private. You owe me."

"If you really want out, the Love God has an anti-love potion," said Mabel. "I have to get it from him anyway, to cure Candy and Grenda."

"Candy and Grenda got some, too? They're in love?" asked Pacifica.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," said Mabel.

Pacifica snickered. "That's great. Those two geeks deserve each other. I say let them be."

"Pacifica! They're my friends."

"Just because I love you doesn't mean I have to like your friends," said Pacifica.

"This is going to be a rocky relationship, isn't it?" said Mabel.

"Who else are they going to find to date, anyway?" asked Pacifica.

"I was thinking about setting Candy up with my brother," said Mabel. "They would be a cute match."

"It might work. Nerds of a feather... But what about Grenda?" asked Pacifica.

"I'll have to think about Grenda," said Mabel. "What about us?"

"I don't know... I feel all bubbly inside. I wish it were real. I don't want this good feeling to go away."

"It's real, if we choose it to be," said Mabel. "Help me get the anti-love potion, and then we'll decide, okay?"

"Okay, girlfriend," said Pacifica.


	3. Woodstick

**Woodstick**

The circle of friends gathered in Thompson's garage.

"All right, who's ready for the best and most over-priced day of our summer?" asked Wendy.

They all cheered.

Thompson pulled off one of the snacks taped to his body and said, "I brought a baggie of trail mix, and safety whistles, in case we get separated."

"Ahem-lame," said Dipper in a cough.

"This kid is a champion," Lee said.

Nate said, "We're just waiting on Tambry. Can't leave without Tambry."

Tambry walked in. "Sorry guys, I was delayed by a blind date schemed up by Mabel."

"A blind date?" asked Wendy.

"Yeah, she tried to set me up with Robbie, of all people," said Tambry.

"I guess I should have warned you," said Dipper. "Mabel said finding Robbie a new girlfriend was her new project. She fancies herself as a matchmaker."

"Me and Robbie? As if," said Tambry.

"Yeah, as if," said Nate, with a touch of relief in his voice.

Lee chuckled.

"Poor Mabel," said Wendy. "She probably won't show her face around us for a few days, out of embarrassment."

Mabel walked in with a big grin. "Hi guys! I'm ready for the concert, and I brought some friends!"

Grenda and Candy walked in behind her, hand in hand.

"Greetings, everyone," said Candy. "We are ready for a nice date."

"Yeah," said Grenda. "Before our big sleepover tonight, wink wink."

Thompson said, "Um, Mabel? I hope your friends can afford their own tickets. They're pretty expensive... I had to sell my watch to get enough money for just the gang."

"Don't worry, that's all covered. My new BFF has bought their tickets," said Mabel.

Pacifica walked in. "Don't think this means I find you two socially acceptable. I'm only doing this as a favor for Mabel."

"Thanks, I guess," said Grenda.

"Thank you," said Candy.

The two seemed too preoccupied with each other to pay much attention to the change in Pacifica.

"Pacifica? You're doing favors for Mabel? Why?" asked Dipper.

Mabel took Pacifica's arm. "We're dating."

Mabel and Pacifica smiled at each other. Dipper's jaw dropped. The teens in the room looked surprised and amused. Tambry texted an update to her phone pals.

"Have you both gone insane?" asked Dipper.

"Sort of," said Pacifica.

"Crazy in love, that's us," said Mabel with a giggle.

"I don't get the joke, but we've got to get to the concert," said Dipper. "Mabel, we need to have a long talk about this later."

"Sure, we can," said Mabel. "One more thing before we go. You are not pulling off that V-neck."

Dipper sighed. "I know."

"Burn it!" Mabel ordered.

* * *

><p>At the concert, Mabel and Pacifica separated from the others and whispered together.<p>

"We didn't have to tell everyone, if we're going to use the anti-love and end it," said Pacifica.

"But I don't really think we are," said Mabel. "It's just for Candy and Grenda. That's why we had to get them here right away, before they did anything they might regret."

"If they haven't already. But they can be our guinea pigs to see if there are any side effects," said Pacifica.

"My friends are not pigs," said Mabel. "Except for Waddles."

"That's a perfect set-up for a snarky comment, but out of affection for you I'll skip it," said Pacifica.

They sneaked up on the van of the Love God.

"Love God! Sound check for Love God," called a roadie.

The Love God rolled out of the back of the van. "Let's make some miracles happen. Groupies, bed-head me."

Tyler the biker and a woman Mabel didn't know tousled the rock star's hair. He staggered away with them, saying, "The Love God's about to get crazy."

"Now's our chance," said Mabel.

They ran for the open back of the van, where a string of potion bottles had been left behind. Mabel picked them up.

"Let's see... Puppy Love, Love of Country Music – eew. Here it is. Anti-love. To reverse effects of love potion, simply spray on your victim and watch their heart die on the inside."

"Their heart dies on the inside?" said Pacifica. "I don't like the sound of that."

"It must be a figure of speech," said Mabel. "Come on, lets find Grenda and Candy."

But when they turned around, the Love God was standing behind them.

"Hey! You're the one who's been stealing my stuff," he said. "Ugh! I am not loving this."

"I'm sorry," said Mabel. "But I made a mistake and I have to fix it."

"Kid, like I told you, this stuff is way too dangerous. On my oath as a god, I cannot let you... Hey, where did they go?"

Pacifica and Mabel ran between the booths. When the Love God was gaining on Mabel, she tossed the bottle to Pacifica. They ran onto the stage of the Handlebar Brothers, then escaped by crowd-surfing the audience.

"Thank you!" Mabel called out.

"Ugh, they're touching everything," said Pacifica.

The Love God followed by crowd surfing too, high-fiving and giving out autographed photos as he went.

They spotted Candy and Grenda sitting together on a hill, arms around each other.

"There they are," said Mabel, attaching a spray-bottle top to the anti-love potion. "One good shot to the back of the head and they'll be fixed."

The Love God flew above them on tiny wings, and landed in front of them. "You leave me no choice. Visions of heartbreak past!"

He threw down three bottles and Mabel was surrounded by the boys she had crushed on that summer: Norman, Mermando, Gabe, the Sev'ral Timez clones, the boy she gave a rigged survey to, and even the image of Alexander Hamilton from the ten-dollar bill.

Pacifica punched through some of them. "You think we would fall for that?"

Mabel was temporarily overwhelmed by the love potion magic in the images. "You all want me to marry you?"

Pacifica called, "Mabel, it's all fake."

"Just give us the bottle, Mabel," said the false Mermando.

"No!" said Mabel, pushing out of the dream. "I've moved on from you guys. I have a new love in my life now. "

"Good for you, girlfriend," said Pacifica.

But the momentary distraction had been enough. The Love God flew above her and snatched back the bottle.

He landed and said, "Sorry kids, but that's what happens when you mess with a god. Only a greater being from the heavens themselves could possibly stop..."

He stood frozen, as a giant flaming balloon head labeled "I EAT KIDS" descended directly towards him.

Pacifica didn't notice this. She tackled the Love God, intent on retrieving the bottle for Mabel. Her marital arts training gave her sufficient leverage to shove him out of the way of the crashing balloon. She rolled to her feet.

"You saved me," said the Love God. "You could have let me die, but you saved my life. I owe you one,"

"Let us use the anti-love potion on those two girls up on the hill," said Pacifica.

"You hate them, and you want them never to be able to love again?" the Love God asked. "If that's what you really want..."

"No!" Mabel said. "Not that. But they got love potion by mistake, and I don't think they are right for each other. Isn't there anything else you can do?"

"I have a potion of Redirected Love that can match them each with someone else," said the Love God. "But I won't do it unless you have a match for each of them and neither is left alone."

"The little one should be with my brother, Dipper," said Mabel. "The big one... I don't know."

"Is there anyone here that she's ever liked?" asked the Love God.

"She liked the Sev'ral Timez guys, all three of us did, and I thought I saw one or two of them lurking around here," said Mabel. "But they're living in the wild now. It wouldn't work."

"Anyone else?" asked the Love God.

"She was interested in Gabe Benson, the puppeteer," said Mabel. "But he's only interested in making out with the puppets on his hands."

"I can redirect a lot of that love onto her," said the Love God. "If she has any connection with puppets."

"She helped me put on a big puppet show not long ago. He hated the ending, but she didn't have anything to do with that," said Mabel.

"Perfect," said the Love God. "Get him here and we can make a match."

Pacifica called Gabe and offered to sponsor his puppet show at the Woodstick concert.

"I'll roller-blade there like a shot, with Bee and Book," said Gabe.

Mabel located Dipper and steered him over near Candy and Grenda. Pacifica met Gabe on his arrival and steered him to the same vicinity.

The Love God zapped his magic at them. Candy and Dipper: "Match made!" Gabe and Grenda: "Match made!"

The new couples moved together, gazing at each other with adoration in their eyes.

"Anything else I can do for you, girls?" asked the Love God.

"We also got the potion," said Mabel. "We want to stay together, but if it's just the potion talking we're not sure."

"I saw the way you resisted those images of heartbreak past. There was more love magic in them than in the potion you took. So there must be real feelings in your heart for her."

He turned to Pacifica, "How about you? Is there anyone else you would rather be in love with?"

"I had a tiny crush on a girl named Tiffany, but we aren't friends any more," said Pacifica. "She said I sent her a text calling her dumb, and I didn't. I'd much rather be with Mabel."

"Then the match is made!" said the Love God.

Mabel and Pacifica hugged.

"Will we be in love like this forever?" asked Mabel.

"The potion you took was Young Love," said the Love God. "It will take work to turn it into Forever Love. No guarantees, but you have a good shot at it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some concert singing to do. The Love God is about to get crazy!"


	4. Turning a Blind Eye

**Turning a Blind Eye**

Mabel and Pacifica went to join their friends on the hill.

"Hi Mabel," said Dipper. "Candy and I have decided to go out together."

"Congratulations, bro," said Mabel. "You have a good catch there."

"So have I," said Candy, blushing. "He is so cute and brainy."

Gabe turned to look at Mabel, "Oh, it's you. I thought I made it clear I didn't want any further association with you after that travesty of a play."

"Gabe, the ending was an accident," said Grenda. "We had a wonderful wedding finale planned. It was going to be beautiful."

"If you were involved, my dear Grenda," said Gabe, "I'm sure it was."

"My brother and I were up in the loft working on a wedding cake prop and it fell with us in it," Mabel explained. "So we improvised a big fight scene."

"That was amateurish," said Gabe. "The most overacted demon possession scene I've ever witnessed. Not to mention launching fireworks into the audience and burning all of your poor puppets."

"Listen, jerk," said Pacifica. "I hired you for this puppet-show gig, and Mabel happens to be my dearest friend. You will be civil to her or you're fired."

"Mabel's my friend too, sweetie," said Grenda. "Maybe next time you can help her and it will turn out better."

"I don't think anyone would come to another of my shows," said Mabel.

"Probably not, but you may help backstage with one of mine," said Gabe. "You did try, and the first half went well."

"Oh Gabe, you're so generous and talented," said Grenda.

"Shall I begin the show?" asked Gabe.

"I'd rather pay you not to perform," said Pacifica.

"Pacifica, be nice," said Mabel. "Let's watch it together."

Candy and Dipper excused themselves.

"We're going to take a long walk together in the woods," Dipper said.

Pacifica, Mabel, and Grenda sat and watched the show. A group of kids who were trying to recover from the trauma of the "I EAT KIDS" head came and joined them. Mabel laughed and gave responses along with the rest of the young audience and eventually even Pacifica joined in.

After the show, Grenda went off to Gabe's house to see his home theater. They saw her walking off with Gabe, receiving kisses both from his lips and his hand puppets.

They ran into Robbie, with a new girl at his side. "Mabel, you were right. Your lame attempt to get me dating again inspired me. It was time to move on, so I came out to the concert and met Doreen here. We got talking about our common tastes in clothes, and really hit if off."

"Hi," said Doreen. She was the goth Soos had met at the "Edgy on Purpose" store at the mall, the one he wasn't sure was a guy or a girl.

"Thanks to you, I'm... happy," said Robbie, with wonder in his voice.

"Match made!" said Mabel softly to Pacifica.

As they were leaving the concert grounds, Mabel asked Pacifica, "Who is Tiffany? Should I be jealous?"

"You've seen her," said Pacifica. "She has short auburn hair, in bangs. Like I said, it's totally over between us. I lost my cell phone the night of our golf game. That's why I couldn't call home and I needed a ride from you. Someone must have made a prank call to her on it. She thought it was me."

"I bet it was those mean golf-ball-heads, the Lilly Putty guys," said Mabel. "Wasn't it awesome when we fought them back to back and saved each other's lives?"

"Mabel, I don't know what you're talking about," said Pacifica.

"What do you remember about our golf game?" asked Mabel,

"The details are hazy, now that I think about it," said Pacifica. "You admitted cheating and gave me an apology sticker – I still have that, by the way. You gave me a ride home and a taco."

"How could you have forgotten being tied up and nearly killed at the windmill?" asked Mabel. "Oh! Of course. I know..."

"I don't get it," said Pacifica. "I'm not used to this much kidding."

"Come with me to the history museum. I have something to show you," said Mabel.

The museum was closed, but Mabel managed to pick the lock with a hairpin. She led Pacifica to a room full of eyes, with all eyes turned to a triangular tablet on the wall. She pushed the tablet and a secret passage opened.

"Strange, I have a funny feeling I've been here before," said Pacifica.

"You have, and I'll prove it," said Mabel. She found a room full of cylinders and picked up the one labeled 'Pacifica Northwest'. She put it into a player.

There was Pacifica, talking angrily about how she had been kidnapped and nearly killed by little people with golf ball heads, and threatening to sue the mini-golf course. Then her memories were zapped away.

"The Society of the Blind Eye erases people's memories of strange things they have seen," said Mabel. "Or they used to, until Dipper, Wendy, Soos, and I shut them down and made them forget the whole thing."

"Oh wow. This has been going on in Gravity Falls for how long?" asked Pacifica.

"About thirty years, I think," said Mabel.

"You're a hero, girlfriend," said Pacifica. She gave Mabel a long kiss.

"We still have the memory eraser device down here. I almost used it myself to forget my failed summer romances, but I thought better of it," said Mabel. "I just hadn't found the right person yet, and now I have. But I can learn from those mistakes instead of hiding from them, and that will make our relationship better."

"There's something I wish I could forget," said Pacifica.

"What?" asked Mabel.

"That it was love potion that brought us together. It still bothers me, makes me doubt my feelings for you," said Pacifica. "Could you use the device on me to make me forget that?"

"Wouldn't that make you forget you loved me at all?" asked Mabel. "It's dangerous. Using it too much is what drove Old Man McGucket crazy."

"It's been used on me at least once, without any real harm as far as I can tell," said Pacifica. "Just tune it to say, 'Forget you were affected by the love potion'."

"All right, if you really want," said Mabel. "I want you to be happy."

* * *

><p>Later, they were starting up the stairs out of the secret rooms below the museum.<p>

"Thank you for bringing me down to show me how I lost the memories of our golf game," said Pacifica. "I hope I can remember them myself, eventually."

"They would be cool shared memories," said Mabel. "I'll tell you the story over and over until you can remember it."

"That was the start of my becoming close to you," said Pacifica. "I don't remember exactly how I came to love you so much, but I'm glad I did."

"So am I," said Mabel.

Pacifica turned back around on the stairs. "Nobody comes down here any more, since you stopped the Blind Eye Society, right? This would be a sweet private make-out place for us, if we just had something soft to lie down on."

Mabel grinned. "I know a cozy corner with a big pile of secret society robes."

Pacifica put out her hand to Mabel.

"Lead me to it, sweetheart."

THE END


End file.
